Last week I was on the top rated Canadian show Humble and Fred as part of an expert panel of women discussing men and sexuality. They have an ongoing panel once every month or so like this, so I’ll be back on again. This time (my first) included two women; one who owns an erotic massage place and one of her employees. Since it was my featured segment, most of the questions for the 15 minutes I was on were directed to me. The hosts (both men in their fifties) asked me what was the biggest issue I heard from couples. Not being able to express and have their desires met was my answer. This led to a discussion about why men go to massage places in the first place. The answers had to do with a lack of good sex in their relationships and men with higher sex drives needing more release. Asked was why more people (male and female) don’t talk about sex and sexual problems with each other. Repression and shame was part of my answer. Also, women are more likely to share given the right environment like the intimacy workshops for women that I offer. There I see women gradually willing to share and learn from one another. Men don’t do this. I spoke how men’s sexual functioning and desire are directly related to their self-esteem and identity as a man. Not so with most women. Why? One reason I offered is that men have to show up and “perform” in the world in ways different from men. At least this is what is expected of them. The fact that their sex parts are outside also means it’s not easy for them to fake it sexually.
So these are the highlights. Am happy to entertain any comments 🙂